


At the Lake

by TheSunPrincess



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Panic Attack, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10067006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSunPrincess/pseuds/TheSunPrincess
Summary: During a brief break at the beginning of the Revelations journey, Azura contemplates her feelings and the situation that's happened since she met Marjorie.(Marjorie is my personal Corrin)





	

Azura let her fingers drift across the surface of the lake. She mused, not for the first time, that sitting in water in a thin white dress wasn’t the smartest decision. Ah, but what did it matter if she was alone and had- as she trailed her hand out of the water, pulling some out of the lake into the air and shaping it into a little flower with a flick of her wrist- magic. She let the water and her hand fall back with a small splash, and continued to swirl her hands around, watching the small billows of her skirt and mud and letting her mind go blank.

Nothing soothed her quite so well as water. Well, she thought with the slightest twist of her lips at the lake in front of her, someone had been coming surprisingly close. Which was…confusing. Her fingers found the edge of her skirt and started tugging on the wet cloth. She wasn’t used to…feeling comfortable with people. Especially very _new_ people. And she didn’t quite know what to do with the information of how… _easy,_ it was, to be near Marjorie. It was unfamiliar territory to have someone seek her out, let alone someone she _wanted_ to seek her out. People who took an interest in her tended to have unpleasant reasons for that interest.

She pulled her legs to her chest and hunched over, digging her fingers into the silt near her toes. Marjorie was just- just so kind and sweet and admittedly very naive and she didn’t- she didn’t seem to think there was any reason she _should_ stay away or hate her. Which didn’t line up with her past experience with people at all. They always had a suspicion about her at least, if they didn’t loathe her or were trying to have her killed. She could feel their stares boring into her whenever she went to market with her sisters. She could feel their hostility and distrust, no matter how well she she hid her unease or feelings in general at others people’s perception of her. The weight still hurt, even after carrying it all these years. Their eyes that followed because _something about her was wrong, didn’t belong, was an outsider, a spy from Nohr or didn’t deserve to be considered a princess and would betray them all or was too cold or closed off or something it was **always something and then there was another person attempting to bring a knife to her throat AND-**_

Azura clenched her hands before shoving herself up and splashing her way farther into the lake. Out until the water was past her hips and she dove in, submerging herself, shutting out the outside world and hopefully her thoughts. Her hands dug back into the silty muck of the lake, pulling herself down to curl into a ball, eyes squeezed tightly shut, holding her breath as she felt the dull pressure of water pressing against her ears, her heartbeat pounding in her chest, dress and hair drifting about her as if to cut her off from the outer world.

She stayed in the silence, hands rooted in the mud, letting the water calm her down until the need for air became too much. She broke the surface gasping, awareness snapping back as air rushed into her lungs, and froze as she went to push her hair back from her face. Someone was at the shore. She turned to see Marjorie, holding a book and charcoal and looking startled at Azura’s sudden emergence from the lake.

They stared at each other for several seconds, Azura still catching her breath and Marjorie taking in a soaked-through Azura, who didn’t look anywhere near as composed as she usually appeared.

“Are you okay?” Marjorie placed her book and charcoal on the ground before stepping to the edge of the water, looking concerned and Azura couldn’t understand why, couldn’t just _couldn’t understand **why,** she isn’t a retainer sending her a message, she isn’t a sibling she’s a replacement for, **why** is Marjorie so kind and concerned and why doesn’t she hate her what does she want she doesn’t deserve her attention or kindness she’s lying she-_

“Azura?”

She opens eyes she hadn’t realized she had closed. Marjorie was standing in front of her, waist deep in water, hands raised in what was becoming a familiar ‘is it okay to touch you?’ position, and…with her pointed ear tips bright red and eyes _very_ determinedly focused slightly above Azura’s eyes. Oh. Right. The problem with a thin white dress and water. She could focus on that. That had a solution. Doesn’t require emotion to solve.

“Marjorie.”

Marjorie held still, looking slightly relieved that Azura had spoken, but her face was still drawn with worry.

“Um, could you give me your cape?”

Marjorie’s blush rushed to her face and her eyes flickered down before shutting her eyes tightly, stammering out a “sure” and several apologies before scrabbling with her cape clasp blindly, attempting to pull it off as quickly as possible. And therefore making the process much _longer_ before she finally managed to hold the cape out. She made quite the sight, every inch of exposed skin bright red and cape awkwardly thrust out in a clump for Azura, eyes screwed shut and her head directed away for good measure.

As uncomposed Azura was this afternoon, at least she wasn’t the only one feeling awkward. She reached forward to take Marjorie’s cape, swung it around her shoulders and pulled it tight in front of her. It wasn’t fully dry or warm, but it was thick, dark material and left her less exposed, both physically and a little mentally. With the pressure of it around her shoulders, Azura could breathe a little easier. She looked up at Marjorie, face still bright red and scrunched up with how tightly her eyes were closed, waiting for Azura to give her the okay. She- no.

“Thank you, Marjorie. You can open your eyes.”

One slitted red eye slid open, peeking at Azura before the other followed suit, blush slowly fading. She met Azura’s gaze.

“Are you okay?” Marjorie repeated her previous question, head tilted slightly and her brow still furrowed in worry as she took in Azura’s expression. Azura took a shuddering breath and nodded, easily composing her face from years of practice as she pulled Marjorie’s cape even tighter around her.

“I am, truly. I-,” she paused, considering how much she should say. “I wanted to take advantage of our break to think, and water tends to help soothe me.” Marjorie tilted her head further to the side before nodding, and as she motioned back to the shore, said,

“I came for the same, actually. Well, not for the water part exactly, but I needed a peaceful place to write and uh,” she scratched the back of her neck and mumbled something about “meeting you”, ear tips turning red again.

“Come again?”

Marjorie cleared her throat and nervously shook her head, “Oh, um, n-nothing, just thought the lake would be peaceful. And,” she dropped her hands to the water, gentle taps sending out ripples on the surface, “we should probably be heading out of it.” She waved her arms and dramatically indicated the shore. “After you?”

Azura let out a small huff of laughter and nodded, stepping next to Marjorie and they headed back to land. The crowd of thoughts nagging at her quieted further as they walked, the water splashing as they walked side by side. Azura glanced over to find Marjorie watching her, still looking concerned, before trying to cover it with an awkward smile.

“I-sorry, I just-I know you said you were okay, and I’ll drop it if you don’t want to talk, but-,” she took a breath, voice dropping to a softer tone, “well, I’ve never seen you look so distressed before.” They had reached the shallows of the lake at this point, but Azura paused before stepping back onto the shore, breath hitching as the unpleasant thoughts threatened to begin swarming again.

“I-,” she looked at Marjorie, at her warm eyes full of concern, and let some of her usual stoicism fall. She was tired. She was tired of being on guard. She was tired of having to watch out for the possibility of someone trying to kill her. She’d been living like this for _years_. Marjorie was here, and all she had offered was support and room if she needed it. Marjorie was here, and they were making moves to defeat Anankos. She no longer had to suffer alone with the knowledge the world was doomed, that she could not speak of lest she disappeared. They went to Valla, Marjorie _knows_ , and they’re doing something about it. And Marjorie….Marjorie felt _safe_ , something she hadn’t felt since her mother died. Someone she felt a connection to, though she wasn’t yet sure what it meant.

Azura let herself give in. She adjusted her hold on the cape around her shoulders and slowly reached a hand out and took one of Marjorie’s, linking their fingers and letting her hold and the water still around her ankles anchor her. Marjorie glanced between their fingers and Azura’s face, surprised, but did nothing but tighten her grip and wait.

“I was thinking about how all my life, people have been trying to kill me. For various reasons, but it’s been a constant. And I’m used to that, but the memory is what had me so distressed, just because…,” she lifted her eyes from their hands to Marjorie’s face, “because you’ve shown me such kindness and I’m just not sure what to do with it.”

“I-wh-ah, _do with it?_ ” Marjorie’s eyes widened and she looked completely nonplussed. “Azura I- _of course I’m kind to you._ You’ve never given me the slightest reason to not think you aren’t absolutely amazing. Do you have any idea of how supportive you are for me? I-the reason I came out to the lake was partly because I thought it’d be peaceful, but mostly because I had really hoped to find you here. I-,” she hesitated, lifting her free hand up and gently bringing it to Azura’s cheek. Azura could feel it trembling slightly as Marjorie’s thumb brushed her cheekbone. She met her eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I worry everyday that I’m making some kind of mistake, leading us wrong, not taking the right course of action. And then I look at you and remember at least I’m not alone. That I have your honest opinion and advice. It-, “she gives a soft huff of a laugh, “it may have been a little premature to say it when I did, and honestly still might be, but when I told you ‘what would I do without you’  after you gave me the dragonstone, I really did mean it.” She ran her thumb over Azura’s cheek one last time before dropping and wrapping her arm around her ribs, looking more vulnerable than Azura had ever seen her.

“Marjorie…,” Azura was at a loss for words. She simultaneously wanted to step back into the water to try and sort out what to say and step forward to give Marjorie a hug. She settled for looking down at their clasped hands, and tightening her grip, focusing on the water still around her ankles and Marjorie’s hand in hers, trying to breathe past the tears pricking at her eyes. “I…”

“Look, I-I just need you know you’re important. Important to me. It-it horrifies me that my kindness is so unusual, because the Azura I’ve gotten to know over these past couple weeks deserves all the kindness the world,” Marjorie said quietly, some unfamiliar but intense undercurrent to her words.

Azura couldn’t control her face after that. She let go of Marjorie’s hand and stepped back deeper into the water, bringing her now free hand to her mouth. She closed her eyes and shook her head, letting out something between a sob and a laugh. It was too much to believe. Or, as she let out another strangled noise, it would be if she hadn’t looked back up at Marjorie’s face.

She had wrapped her other arm around her waist as well, was slightly hunched over and was just, looking at Azura with an expression she couldn’t place, but fell all the force of. She was caught, unable to move as Marjorie gazed at her, completely still as well. Marjorie truly meant every word she had said. There was nothing duplicitous on her face, just a mixture of concern and her borderline begging for Azura to believe her. Well, not _just._ That odd, intense-yet-soft undercurrent in her words was also apparent in her face.

It was strange. A large part of Azura’s instinct was to immediately reject everything Marjorie told her. It couldn’t be true. Just more empty words. No one cared for her. No one had a reason to. She was an interloper in countries that weren’t hers, amongst family that wasn’t hers. People had proved over and over and _over_ again that she had no place among them. That she wasn’t important. She meant nothing.

...But there was a small part, a small part who looked at Marjorie, at her past actions, and just...wanted to fall and trust Marjorie to catch her. And Marjorie already had. When she let down her guard before, she hadn’t been expecting Marjorie’s reaction. She didn’t know what she had been expecting. She just…there was a reason she told Marjorie. There was a reason part of her, looking at Marjorie, could actually believe that she meant what she said. Part of it was they were finally facing down the reasons Azura had been shunned. Part of it was something else, that connection she felt. Right now, she was too exhausted to really examine what the rest of that reason was but, trusting it. Trusting Marjorie. Was something she could do. She took a shaky breath, blinking away the tears blurring her vision.

“Marjorie,” her throat ached. She took another shuddering breath, before stepping back towards the other woman. Marjorie’s arms unfolded, and Azura stepped into them, lowering her head to her friend’s shoulder. The princess’ arms wrapped around Azura, slowly, gently at first, before tightening and pulling her close and tucking her own head into Azura’s shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable hug, as Marjorie’s armor, chilled from the water, dug into her still-folded arms, but...she felt the safety of Marjorie’s presence surround her.

Her arms, strong and somehow still warm, wrapped around her. She smelled like metal and a hint of blood, a reminder that they were just beginning this fight, but also of water, of dirt and sky and so much like _home,_ like _Valla_ , like all the things Azura missed and resigned herself to never have again. She took one last shuddering breath and the tears slowed. Home. It had been such a long time since she’d had that. It was almost too much to hope she could have it again.

But here, wrapped in both Marjorie’s cape and her arms, standing in a gateway to Valla if she so chose to use it, was the closest she had gotten in years. They stood like that for a while, as the sun started to drift toward the horizon. Azura took a breath before slowly stepping back. Marjorie’s arms unwound from around her, though her hands still hovered near.

Azura looked at the other woman's face, which just seemed impossibly kind as she waited for Azura to do something. She didn't have the words to begin express what she felt, what this moment in the lake meant to her. But there was _something_ she could say.

“Thank you.” It didn't seem like enough, but it was all Azura could offer, with her throat still tight with emotion. Marjorie’s face just broke into a soft smile, and she shook her head.

“Of course, Azura. Anything I can do for you, I will.”

Azura shook her head in return, mouth spreading in an involuntary smile as her heart beat just the slightest bit faster. It was hard to believe this woman was real. Real and here and trying to support her. But the lingering warmth of her embrace and the solid material of her cape around her shoulders was proof enough. As was the endearingly shy smile Marjorie still had on her face.

“Let's go back, we've been gone for a while.” Azura said, after the pause got a little too long.

“Mm,” Marjorie hummed in agreement, looking down and flexing her feet, before taking the last couple of steps onto shore and remarking, “we were in that lake so long our feet are all pruney.”

Azura glanced down as well, laughing a little as she saw that Marjorie was right, before following her out of the water, still a little off balance from the entire encounter.

Marjorie stooped over, scooping up the journal and charcoal she had left there, and Azura was briefly distracted by the curve of her hips in her leggings, usually covered by her cape, before Marjorie straightened and turned toward her once again. “Shall we?”

Azura’s eyes flickered back up to Marjorie’s, heat rising in her cheeks. Marjorie just wasn’t fair. Enough that she knocked Azura off balance emotionally, she just had to be attractive on top of it. She stopped herself from biting her lip, and started swinging Marjorie’s cape off her shoulders.

“Yes, just give me a second,” and with a swing of her arms, she removed the last of the water from the cape and her dress, which admittedly had mostly dried while they were standing in the shadows, but a distraction is a distraction. She stepped forward, holding the cape back out to Marjorie. “Um, you might want to put this back on. I...I-”

“You’d rather we keep this...thing -uh, conversation- between us?” Marjorie finished for her, tilting her head and taking her cape back, tucking her book between her (distractingly well-developed) thighs as she began to fiddle with her clasp again, awkwardly trying to get the heavy cloth through the strap on her back.

“Yes.” Azura watched as Marjorie struggle for a few more seconds, before stepping around and pulling the cape through the strap, passing the end below the woman’s arm to be clasped once again to her chest. Marjorie shot her a sheepish grin over her shoulder, ears reddening as she finished pinning the cape securely, grabbing her book from her thighs and turning around. She may be emotionally confusing and have a nice ass, but she was still rather goofy.

“Thank you. Now we really should get back, that sun isn’t going to stop going down and people will start to wonder where we’ve been.” Marjorie once again stepped forward, arm out as if to place it at the small of Azura’s back, before pausing and bringing it back into her side, face still flushed as she continued her walk back toward camp.

“Agreed, we wouldn’t want to start any rumors now.” Azura replied with a slight smile, relaxing into step with Marjorie, whose face went from red to confused.

“Rumors about what?”

“I-,” Azura took a step more forward before turning to face Marjorie, eyebrow cocked. “Really?”

Marjorie looked blankly back, coming off like a confused puppy.  Adorable but clueless. “Um….I don’t….really know what people would be spreading rumors about. Didn’t exactly grow up in a place I ever heard rumors.”

A dull pain as all of the rumors and twisted words Azura had heard, and still continued to hear, behind her back welled up once again, and Azura just sighed with exhaustion. “Well, maybe that is better than growing up hearing them.”

Marjorie frowned and shrugged, arms crossing in front of her chest. “I wouldn’t be so sure. There’s so much I don’t know about or know how to deal with being sheltered like that. But,” her eyes flickering away and then back to Azura’s face, “At least I have people like you, and Felicia, and Gunter to help me out now.”

_‘She really needs to stop doing that,’_ Azura was back to holding her breath, keeping the lid on the pain was much easier when Marjorie wasn’t complimenting her. Azura took another breath, closing her eyes and asking, “Could I hold your hand again?”

Marjorie looked slightly startled at the second time Azura initiated contact today, but unfolded her arms and offered a hand up. “O-of course. I’m sorry if I said something wrong.”

“No,” Azura shook her head as she took Marjorie’s hand, letting the slide of material of her gloves and the contrast between the warmth of her palm and the cool of the metal gauntlet ground her. “Not really. I just. It helps.” Marjorie nodded, running her thumb over the back of Azura’s hand. Azura closed her eyes and let herself breathe. Centering herself. Locking away the pain into its customary corner, and lingering on the tangle of emotions she didn’t have any more energy to deal with today. Feeling Marjorie’s hand in hers and the soothing feeling of her thumb running back and forth was one of the easier things to just. Accept right now. Asking _why_ it was easier could be put aside for later.

She opened her eyes again, finding Marjorie also with her eyes closed, and gently tugged on their hands to alert her. Marjorie’s brow creased slightly before nodding, and loosened her fingers so Azura could drop her hand. Azura tightened her hold instead, briefly biting her lip before saying, “Is it okay….?”

“Aren’t you worried about ‘rumors’?” Marj offered with a half-hearted grin, re-tightening her grip as she spoke. Azura smiled gently back, bumping Marjorie’s hip with her own.

“Ah, let them talk. I don’t mind these rumors so much.” They started walking once again, letting the silence sit as they entered the outskirts of camp. Passing into the clearing with a nod at Gunter in the distance, Marjorie spoke again.

“I still have no idea what ‘these’ rumors are.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i've been writing this thing for months and finally finished it in time for Azura's birthday yaaay. i'm still kinda new to this whole writing thing.
> 
> EDIT: SORRY THE FORMATTING GOT MESSED UP ON THE ORIGINAL UPLOAD ;; stupid ao3 why couldn't i just upload a word doc instead
> 
> also, if you need a ridiculously appropriate song for that middle-ish bit with the hugs, listen to 'Arms' by Christina Perri. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeW0Sl0tNS8
> 
> i even wrote that part BEFORE i heard this song i'm still mad it's so fitting


End file.
